Thank you.

It seems like there is still a person reading these, well all I have to say is hello.
You alone, know more about me than my entire family, you have seen me at my lowest and my highest.
If I know you personally or not i don't know, but thank you.

I want to be a ghost (WIP)

I am just so tired of running away.
I know I need to, but I just cant stay.
So far away I'll go.
and my real name I'll never say.
I want to be forgotten.
I want to be a ghost.

Up and down we go.

I feel like I'm at  a standstill in life, I have been so far up and so far down in the past week alone that even I got confused.  I just want someone to help me, who wont judge me.  I feel like i lost everyone, and that is what is really killing me.

save them.

I'm the daughter hiding my depression.

I'm your sister making a good impression.

I'm a friend acting like I'm fine.

I'm a teenager pushing her tears aside.

I'm the girl sitting next to you.

I'm the one asking you to care.

I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there.

I'm the son who shows no fear.

I'm your brother, just barely holding together.

I'm a friend who fakes a smile.

I'm a teenager afraid of everything.

I'm the boy sitting beside you.

I'm the one with an open ear.

I'm your best friend who will always be there

FINALLY!

I finally understand why I prefer the virtual world compared to the real world. The real world is nothing but set points you mess up you cant go back, every one knows that, but so many people choose the world of fantasy for the soul purpose that if you mess up you can start over, no problem. There is a huge problem with that tho, it can't teach children that they cant do that in real life. Life is not a Nintendo game, you cant just restart. I prefer the virtual world due to the fact that it is the one place where real life problems just fad away, no more sadness (till you lose the level for the umpteenth time).

No.

Nothing has been going right as of late. In two months I'm moving away, and I have to leave all of the great memories behind. And on top of that school is becoming a nightmare to no end. Oh god please just let it end.

Breaking hope

I feel like I can let out everything I feel one this site since I know no one will read it. I feel like I'm slowly fading away and every ounce of what kept me human is being drained from me, I would do anything to have you even look at me, yet your falling for another. God how pathetic am I. I lied to every one I cared about trying to make it seem like i was the victim all those years ago. I became the one thing I promised i never would become. it seem like every day takes all my strength, and only so few people understand it. My friends would never hear me say this but I pray every day to keep my body from the harm i one day feel like i will make. I'm far from religious but I do believe in my Gods and in my moments of need they were there, but there voices are fading, and im so tempted to just give up and meet them, to look them in the eye and said I cant hurt no more, im so broken that there is no way to fix me again. I've done so much wrong and so little right im surprised there is anyone beside me at all.

Hi again, Im writing this to my future self. atm you are 18 and you dont know what you are doing with your life, you love one girl with all your heart and you are too afraid to show the world that. you are afraid of change and afrid of the peron you became. you would do anything to kill your demons but your demons are all you know now. I hope that when you read this again in the future you will be doing so much better. but till then I know that you can do anything if you set your heart to it. one love, one life.

~ Shawn Farinelli